The stories are all over the newspapers. The younger generation known as GenY, Millennials or Digital Natives do not want to grow up and become adults. I have found three excellent books that explore the reasons why, and what we as parents can do to ensure that this next generation grows up to lead happy and healthy adult lives.

1. Generation iY: Out Last Chance to Save Their Future (Dr. Tim Elmore and Dan T. Cathy) - Athough GenY is basically considered those born between 1984 and 2002, this book focuses on what the authors call GeniY, those born after 1990, or those who have literally grown up online. They have never known a time where they have not been completely connected. Some of the reasons GeniY is having problems are:

•  Too Connected - Resulting in not enough time alone to discover who they are, harming their face-to-face people skills and harming their listening skills?
•  Overprotected - "Safety has often been allowed to trump growth" leading to this generation having trouble developing strong independent coping skills.
•  Overserved - GeniY has an overinflated idea of their own importance and now feel entitled to special treatment even as they enter the adult world. No other generation of parents has spoiled their kids the was this generation has. Will this GeniY become impatient, demanding, self-centered adults?

Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future, goes on to define the different parenting styles and practices that created this generation and the problems it faces. "Typically, iYers have been raised to be consumers and many have not matured to become contributors", says Elmore". The book does outline the guidance they will need to succeed in today's workforce.

2. The iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College (and Beyond) While Letting Them Grow Up - (Dr. Barbara Hofer and Abigail Sullivan Moore) - Up until about ten years or so ago, when teenagers went away to college, they were on the path to independence. They said goodbye to their parents, and spoke to them once or twice a week (pre-cell phone era). Students made their own decision about classes and social life and called home about money or things the parents needed to be involved. It was a great bridge to independence between high school and working.

Now, things could not be more different. Most students call their parents at least once or twice a day. But it is not the amount of times that is worrisome, it is what they are calling about. The authors of the iConnected Parent document students calling parents about everything; they want instant answers to everyday questions. They are not gaining the ability to make decisions. Examples of phones calls from students include

•   My roommates boyfriend is here too much, what should I do?
•   Can you edit my paper tonight, it's due tomorrow?
•   What setting should I use to wash my jeans?

Parents are just as bad, calling their students to remind them to hand in papers and even phoning professors and choosing their child's courses. How is a teenager ever going to become an adult if this type of behavior is going on? The iConnected Parent is a much needed guide for helicopter parents of college students or soon to be college students.

3. Emptying the Nest: Launching Your Young Adult toward Success and Self-Reliance (Brad E. Sachs, Ph.D) - This book is clearly aimed at parents whose children are already young adults, out of school and are ready to be out on their own. Dr. Sachs puts some of the blame on the job market for the difficulty today's youth has on leaving the family home, however emotional dependence does play a large role also.

Dr. Sachs is a family psychologist and the book is written with the warmth of one. He helps parents understand the issues that might interfere with a healthy departure. He counsels parents on how to address the conflicts that come up when young adults can't leave home or return after leaving. Emptying the Nest will also help parents deal with the departure of their children.

Although these three books deal with similar topics, they are completely different in tone and age. Generation iY is a very harsh look at parents and the generation they produced and talks mostly about teens. Emptying the Nest is at the other extreme, a warm compassionate book and discusses young adults. The iConnected Parent, is somewhere in the middle in tone and is about college kids. I hope that one of them will be right for you.

See also: 
3 New Inspirational Books for Holiday Gifts
How to Bring Out the Best in Your Teens and Add Peace to Your Home
10 Signs You Are A Helicopter Parent

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